I've been waiting for more than a year to read a post from a Blogger friend of mine about "people who drain you." The actual post was supposed to be about "letting go of connections to people who have negative energy (aka suck the life out of you)". I've reminded her repeatedly about the need to finish that post, but she has not done so. I'm guessing it's because she can't. So I'm stealing her unpublished idea and using it here. Maybe she will read this and be inspired to finish her own version. For me, it goes like this:
There are dynamic, creative people in this world. They exude a kind of positive energy that touches everything and everybody that comes near them. They are easy to recognize: They are the people who brighten your day when they call you on the phone. They are the friends you try to cultivate because wonderful things happen when they are around. They are the ones you turn to when you need advise or help. They seem to have an unlimited amount of this energy too. That's a good thing because we need friends like them to bring out the best that is within us - especially when we're having a bad day.
Then there are their opposites: The people who never have a good day. These are the people who's calls you try to avoid. When you are near them, they really do suck the life out of you. If you have unlimited positive energy, you may be able to stand next to them without ill effects; but if you are like me, you can feel all your enthusiasm for the moment vanishing into their unbounded negativity.
What is a body to do? Well I guess that depends on five things:
1) How much positive energy do you have?
2) How much positive energy can you afford to give away?
3) How long will it take you to replace that energy once it is gone?
4) How much effort is that person worth to you?
5) What are the chances that your efforts will have the desired effect?
It is a complicated question. Some people aren't worth much effort, and you just need to avoid them. Other people - like your children maybe - are worth all you can give plus a little bit more. In any case, back away from negative people before they drain you so much that you become like them. Give yourself time to recover, and then decide whether or not you want to see them again. Remember, the fastest way to replenish your positive energy level is to surround yourself with people who have it in abundance.
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Wow. Powerfully well written. Yes, yes. Not sure what I could add to that. But I'll try to come up with a few thoughts. Just a couple here - the friends that seem to have unlimited energy may seem more that way when they are around you (or other people who have positive energy). Also, there may be room for a limited number of people with negative energy in your life but if you go beyond that limit (numbers of people or hours spent with such people), you may be brought down in a serious way. So you have to learn to set limits, which isn't always easy.
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